It's strange to think that even after living here three years, I'm still tighter and better connected with my friends back home than with the few I've made here. Still, I can't let go of Alberta. No matter how hard I try, I can't seem to connect here. Possibly because I haven't tried terribly hard... Some things just are not meant to be surpassed, you know?
My niece and nephew are growing without me, as is Lucasaurus. My best friend is going off to college and my cousins are finding their womanly ways in life. And no matter how exciting my success stories are, I can't help but feel the crushing doubt of my own self-interest and distance.
When I visit home, I tend to start thinking about when I'll have to leave before I've even arrived. It's a serious flaw of mine - the one I wish I didn't have more than anything. Driving a full day, the distance between my career world and my family world widening and widening, is a horrifying thought.
What DO I want in this life?
Sara. ♥
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